in stillness

my heart becomes like a day with various weathers

it can not be called stable

feelings come and go by, but God's love never does

It stays still and never fails

I try to breathe more slowly

being more aware of this reality

that my life continues because He sustains me

it is on Him I will rely

until the very end of my breath in the death bed

but it's only His mercy and faithfulness makes this possible

since I have no power and confidence from my own self

My life is so simple

beautiful or not I know not

it's like a cup

the hollow is what makes it

here I just want to accept

what it brings

no wish, no expectation, non-action

just live today and let it go

Glory to You, O God, Glory to You!

Milim

When I think of smallest act of grateful heart, that would be a smile
smile of acceptance and willingness
to greet every morning, every season
every leave in the forest and every bird in the branch
with a silent and serene heart
every moment is great
this very minute and second is wonderful
be it time of chronic loneliness
be it time of chaotic togetherness
I just want to smile, even only half smile
because the goodness of God is so trustworthy
He cares and gives me what He deems me best
my heart stays still

Thus I can stay calm and choose to sing
His greatness and mighty acts
either in laughter or in tears
because He is good! His mercy endures forever
yes, there are much sorrows in the world
there are much sorrows in me
suffering is the crown of my life
but He is Greater far than my mere pains
I am too small to grasp His abundant mercy

So I just want to wait and see
silencing my heart
and close my mouth with my hands, uttering no word
calm O my soul, trust Your Lover
it is to Him You will return
Glorify Him no matter what!

Glory to You, O God! Glory to You!

I'm so grateful

It's so sweet when I reflect on the things that seems works slowly yet I know it is growing upward. Thank God! May His Name be blessed forever and ever. To abide in Him and continually cling in Him is what I would remember until my last breath. Because there is no other power or strength which I can rely on but God's. So, whatever happens with me I can always sing, 'It is well with my soul', because God always does what He deems best. Glory to You, O God! Glory to You!

Merciful Lord

The Lord has been so merciful to me, especially when I look back to the past, great things He has done to me out of His compassion. I am so grateful for his protection and mercy which is so real and tangible. His way is so great and full of mystery but in His kindness it is made known and especially for my heart to feel.

What I need to keep in mind and heart is to trust Him and rely on His strength to step in the way that He shows... Trust and obey, for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey. Glory to You, O Lord! Glory to You!

difficult road

what makes it difficult? Because I don't have inner peace. The peace that will make me unshakable like a mountain and so flexible like water on the flow. Lord, have mercy! May I always sing of Your praises in every moment that You still allow me to live. In each step O Lord, grant me humility and willingness to love, to be vulnerable and bread for all to eat.

Stay still and acceptive, know that the Lord is in control. Be grateful of any circumstances as God works graciously for the goodness of the soul. Stay silent and pray, pray constantly and wait unto Him.

Glory to You, O Lord! Glory to You!

smile in a mundane day

It's been an exciting moment for me to wait and expect for the working time as university years are finishing. Trully, I trust in God's mercy and guidance to work even in my weaknesses to His glory. There are many arrangement needs to be made including the place to live, how to get to work, new things to adapt and to cope with. Really, it will be a quite transition for me. Lord, have mercy! I need the wisdom and strength that comes from You to deal with each and every encounters so that Your commandments is what I obey and follow.

God's written commandments will be my guide in every moment to learn the will of God in life. There are moments when I fail to guard myself and thus I bring trouble into myself. But eventually I realize that only in God alone there is perfect rest and joy. In Christ alone does this life has meaning. He is the source of my life and to Him I belong.

Lord, bless. Save me, I am Yours!

a dew that after a cloud

when it is raining under the cloud,
between the heart and the land
between the sky and the eyes
between the ears and the winds
all the leaves screams, as the view being gray

One step, one drop
happiness in each breath and smile
happiness in simplicity of the road
seeing the birds, flowers and ugliness of the rubish
they are in harmony, an awkward but silently there

a dew that after a cloud

facing it...

Wait and return later...

see the rainbow is still in the back of the hill

the doves are just about to fly

the blossoming flowers are watching for the morning dew

It is at hand...

and then I smile hopefully

only a few more time

and the sky is blue

only wait slightly longer

and face whatever comes in this short time

Only Lord, grant me Thy strength..

Let Thy Name be glorified....

Amen!

The Lorica of Saint Patrick

I arise today in vast might,
in vocation of the Trinity,
belief in a Threeness,
confession of Oneness,
towards the Creator.

I arise today
in the might of Christ’s Birth & His Baptism,
in the might of His Crucifixion & Burial,
in the might of His Resurrection & Ascension,
in the might of His Descent to the Judgment of Doom.

I arise today
in the might of the order of Cherubim,
in obedience of angels,
in ministrations of Archangels,
in hope of resurrection for the sake of reward;
in prayers of Patriarchs,
in predictions of Prophets,
in preachings of Apostles,
in faith of Confessors,
in innocence of Holy virgins,
in deeds of Righteous men.

I arise today
in the might of Heaven,
brightness of Sun,
whiteness of Snow,
splendor of Fire,
speed of Lightning,
swiftness of Wind,
depth of Sea,
stability of Earth,
firmness of Rock.

I arise today
in the Might of God for my piloting,
Power of God for my upholding,
Wisdom of God for my guidance,
Eye of God for my foresight,
Ear of God for my hearing,
Word of God for my utterance,
Hand of God for my guardianship,
Path of God for my precedence,
Shield of God for my protection,
Host of God for my salvation,
Against snares of demons!
Against allurement of vices!
Against solicitations of nature!
Against every person that wishes me ill,
far and near, alone and in a crowd!

I invoke therefore all these forces
against every fierce, merciless force
that may come against my body and my soul:
Against incantations of false prophets!
Against black laws of paganism!
Against false laws of heresy!
Against encompassment of idolatry!
Against spells of seductresses,
tinkers and druids!
Against all knowledge that is forbidden
the human soul!

Christ for my guardianship today
against poison,
against burning,
against drowning,
against wounding,
that there may come to me a multitude of rewards.

Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me,
Christ under me,
Christ over me,
Christ to right of me,
Christ to left of me,
Christ in lying down,
Christ in sitting,
Christ in rising up.
Christ in the heart of every person who may think of me,
Christ in the mouth of every person who may speak to me,
Christ in every eye which may look on me,
Christ in every ear which may hear me.

I arise today in vast might,
in vocation of the Trinity,
belief in a Threeness,
confession of Oneness,
meeting in the Creator.

Salvation is of the Lord,
Salvation is from the Lord,
Salvation is in Christ!
May we always remain in Your Salvation, O Lord!
Amen!

Terimakasih, Ayah! Saya mengopi doa yang sangat indah ini dari blogmu! Aku sungguh mencintaimu, Ayah!

awareness of limit

I have just been realized that I am not unlimited :D. I have certain boundaries in strength and capacity. In some simple case, be it time or energy, when tiredness is the sign that my body uses as a sign to pause. But sometimes I am just very excited with things in life so I just delay the fatigue and continuing my activities. I need to be more aware that I am limited and to listen to what my body tells me.

I feel a little bit sick, not in negative sense, I am grateful for this because then I have the reason to take a rest. Many times I find that during the time when I have to lay down in weakness, that's a very good time to be touched by God and letting ourselves to be kept in God's presence. The Lord is Good, His mercy endures forever. Not only for myself, I pray even in my fatigue and little sickness, God may transform it into blessing to others as well. I know that it is not very comfortable bodily, but I trust in God's goodness that He is the source of my genuine comfort. Glory to You, O God! Glory to You!

Persisting in Love

Keep love and do what is true, noble and good according to God's will. It is the Lord God who give commandments. He also who grants us grace to fullfil his biddings. I am very glad to read this little beautiful quotation from St. Ephraim the Syrian:

When you begin to read or listen to the Holy Scriptures, pray to God thus: "Lord Jesus Christ, open the ears and eyes of my heart so that I may hear Thy words and understand them, and may fulfill Thy will." Always pray to God like this, that He might illumine your mind and open to you the power of His words. Many, having trusted in their own reason, have turned away into deception.
(St. Ephraim the Syrian)

To keep doing what is pleasing unto God and to live under His tender mercy is only possible when we put our constant thought in rememberance of God and His mighty deeds, dwelling in Him and relying our strength in Him, because outside of the Lord we can do nothing. It is a synergia, when we are willing to surrender and to obey His commandments. Our task is to say Yes whenever He asks! Glory to You, O God! Glory to You!

my strength is from the Lord

When I have to walk through the path of uncertainty and constant change, I need to remember this: that the Lord is always in His love guiding me unto Himself and His love and faithfulness is beyond what I can think. That's not only comforting but true. The world would not consume me in its vanity as long as the Lord in me and I am in Him. The chain of misseries, sadness and sorrow would not be an end in itself, because it is turned into the path of peace and love. I also need to remember that He gives and allows only what is good in His eyes, not beyond our capacity. He is a Father who knows everything about us and doing everthing well.

Thus, what I need to do in life is to continually hearing His voice and obeying what He says. Through easy and dangerous road, through valley and through the hill. He is the Truth, the Way and the Life. He had taken that path for us to go, and He knows perfectly our struggle and He is ever ready to give His hands to sustain and save us. Why? Because we are His.

Glory to You, O Lord! Teach me Your statutes because You are my God!

Joyous Hope

It is good to read this beautiful and poetical truth of our faith, written by St. Paul:

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

(Rom 8:31-39 KJV)

Ameyn! Glory to You, O Lord! Glory to You!

heartfelt process

In life, there are things which seem to be very slow and small. It is like dropping single droplet of blue ink to make 6,000 Gallons of water to be blue. Patience and perseverance is what is needed and sustaining us not to fall and to lose hope. What is very important is the keeping of the steps, keep moving and advancing however small it is. Like the little shoot of the tree, it is no matter how much it grows but whether it grows or not which matters. Because when it is not growing means it's dead. Continual perseverance to return to Christ and abiding in His embrace: there lies our strength and true hope.

For my case, it is not rare for me to be down and start being frustrate of the difficulties of life and its miseries. I forgot that during my life on earth, my task is to trust Him in whatever circumstances, even in the great cruelty of the world. That is to focus on Him who doeth all things well and not in my fragile and vulnerable self. Yet, he also entrust me to do this task: to add only single droplet of blue ink to make 6,000 gallons of water in the tank be blue.

Keep my eyes, ears and heart steadfast on You and You alone, O Lord! Ameyn!

need or no need

Need is a very subjective term. Since most of the time it depends on who and how. Therefore when it comes to me to be asked of what I really need, I don't really know or understand. Sometimes, what I thought as needs are the worries, passions or desires. So, coming deeper, what do I really need? Survival needs? Anyway.

This reflection brings me to the thought of moderation and keeping the least and the most necessary things in life only, by not burdening life with too much care. Be it called as survival stuffs, only the things which sustain our physical life. It is hard and some might say that it is blur to define need as really need when it is mixed up with all those things as desire, passion, lust and even greed. One thing is needful for us, the kingdom of God. And I keep it in mind.